When Father’s Day Hurts: Finding God in the Grief

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” - Romans 8:28

My dad passed away from stage four colon cancer in March of 2024. This is my second Father’s Day without him. And honestly, sometimes when I think about him, even now, fear and anxiety take over. I get scared that I’ll die the same kind of death.

It’s hard to think about my dad and only remember the good times. The moments filled with joy, laughter, warmth - they’re always followed by the weight of everything that came after his diagnosis. My heart feels like it’s pulled straight back into that year. And when it does, I end up in the same place:

“When will cancer come for me?”

Days like today - his birthday, the day he passed, Father’s Day, holidays, milestones - they feel like they should be full of celebration. But for me, joy often gets stolen from them.

And now, here comes another Father’s Day. The question creeps in again: Is this one going to be stolen of joy too?”

I sat in that hopelessness for a bit this morning. And then, I opened the Bible App. The verse of the day was Romans 8:28:

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”

And right there, God reminded me of all the good He did during my year of hell.

He performed miracles.

He redeemed my dad.

He redeemed our family.

He healed our relationship.

He brought us closer together and closer to Him.

When I share my fears with people, they often tell me they’re praying God breaks this family curse. That I won’t have the same ending. And I love them for it.

But I’ve had multiple family members die from cancer. What if the curse doesn’t break? What if there’s one more? What if it’s me? Or worse - one of my brothers?

Do I say the same words back: “God will heal this family curse from you and the ones after you”?

He may. But He also may not.

I prayed with all the faith I had, more than a mustard seed, and my dad still died.

So the real question I’m faced with is this:

Do I actually trust that God will do what He said He’d do?

Do I believe He can take even this and work it for good?

God, help me, and help anyone reading this who’s facing the worst life has to offer - to believe You. Give us peace and confidence in Your promise. Remind us that even when we get the worst, You’re the kind of God who turns it into something so good, we’ll end up praising You for the trial itself.

Make us confident of this. And in that confidence, let us never lose our joy.