God Didn't - 1 Samuel 1
Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. - 1 Samuel 1:6-7
Because God didn’t allow for Hannah to have children for a long time, while allowing someone else to, it brought her an immense amount of grief. She wasn’t only tormented by someone who became a rival to her, but she was also tormented by her thoughts.
Repeated cruelty and infertility already carry tremendous grief. Peninnah’s words may have reinforced what Hannah was already feeling inside - unworthy, lonely, and insecure.
Her husband loved her so much and tried to comfort her by saying,
“Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” - 1 Samuel 1:8
The inability to have children put Hannah in a place that led her to feel deeply depressed and heartbroken. God didn’t have her story begin with a healthy womb; the inability that caused her so much pain was something that began with God.
Oftentimes, whenever something bad happens to us, we’re quick to say it was caused by someone else, by something you did, or by the world just being broken so bad things happen. Why is it hard for us to allow the thought that maybe God allowed it and that God didn’t save you from it right away?
I believe it’s because then we’re faced with the reality that we may be wrong in how we have come to understand what God’s love actually means.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” - 1 Samuel 1:10-11
This inability given to her by God brought her to this point of anguish but also to the point of full surrender. Hannah, not focusing on why God didn’t heal her womb, pours everything out to Him - the way she feels about herself, the desires of her heart, and the promise of glorifying Him.
And soon after, she became pregnant…and she kept her promise. After Samuel was weaned, Hannah takes him to Eli and says to him,
“Pardon me, my lord. As surely as you live, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there. - 1 Samuel 1:26-28
Because GOD DIDN’T allow for Hannah to have children during a long period of time, she grew in her faith, saw God perform a miracle, and her son became the person this book of the Bible is named after.
Hannah couldn’t see the whole story while she was living through the pain. But God loved Hannah before she had Samuel just as much as He loved her after.
What in your life do you need to look back at to recognize what God didn’t do? GOD DIDN’T allow for your relationship to work. GOD DIDN’T allow for your mom to be healed. GOD DIDN’T allow you to get that job you really wanted. GOD DIDN’T allow you to grow up in a safe environment with loving parents. GOD DIDN’T allow you to be able to have children.
Can you look back at something God didn’t do and thank Him now for what you couldn’t see then? Maybe you can see how He protected you, changed you, or led you somewhere you never would have gone on your own. And where you still can’t understand why He didn’t, can you begin here: “God, I don’t understand this yet, but thank You for loving me through it.”
God’s love is so deep and incomprehensible, and if you lean into it, if you wrestle with this idea of God’s love not looking like we thought it did, not only will it grow your faith and understanding of who God is, but it will make you into a person who can stand strong regardless of what God does or doesn’t do. What God didn’t do doesn’t mean He didn’t love you.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
In 1 Samuel 1:8, Hannah’s husband tries to comfort her. When you’re disappointed, what kind of support helps you most?
In 1 Samuel 1:10-11, Hannah brings her pain to God. Why do you think it can be hard to be honest with God when we’re disappointed in something He didn’t do?
Looking back, is there something God didn’t do that you can now thank Him for? What can you see now that you couldn’t see then?
Fill in the blank: “If God loves me, then why didn’t He _____________?” Share only what you’re comfortable sharing. What does that question reveal about what you expect God’s love to look like? What might it mean for Him to love you even while that question remains unanswered?
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